(Untitled)

A graveyard.

Silent!

I’ll seat myself in the midst

And my eyes will wander to the infinite blackness overhead

Quiet!

A special graveyard

There’s one coffin

There’s no air

Suffocation!

I’ll swallow it down with a dose of silence

Sweeter than that beautiful smile

Suffocation, I search for it

In the cracks of his foundation

Crumbling like loose sand caged within the walls of my hands

Faltering!

The smile shook!

The frow burrowed

The blankness settled

And I once more retreated beyond the wall he set up

A wall made for whom?

Defences set up

My questions pelted against the thick walls and floated to the floor, unanswered

Open up.

I need entry.

And the walls grew thicker than ever! 

Bits and Pieces

The soft static in my mind turns louder

I bite my lips harder drawing bitter crimson

My nails are okay, what about the skin around them?

And my stomach’s in bits and pieces

 

My sleep is scarce, I keep waking up

Forget about my health!

The love of my life has ran away

And now I pick up the bits and pieces of my shattered soul

 

Will you listen to my silence?

I’m to afraid to talk

For my tongue might slip and utter a word I shall, of the darkest secrets

Then you’ll leave and I’ll again be the bits and pieces of dust I was before

 

Do not take it personally

If I don’t come to you with my problems

I know we’re close but trust me I’d rather not talk

Because everything is in bits and pieces

I don’t know why but all I see is darkness in my mind

 

I’m sorry but everything about me,

Is bits and pieces

Thoughts, memories and words are carefully pieced apart

Guess the good takes you nowhere!

V.2

Is home a person?
Or a couple of glass bottles?
Is it a paper carton of smokes?
Or is the sharp metal glint that catches the sunlight under my bed

Is it the pestering thoughts of my restless mind?
Or it my anxiety going full on crazy
I no longer can feel home
Doesn’t matter how close it is to me

Have I grown cold and numb to all that is dear?
Or did everything that was dear to me fade into nothing?
All these questions and possibilities
Could you lend me an extra brain?
For I’m afraid the one I have has gone insane

Conflictions

I’m confused. My brain can’t stop spinning. Even in the darkness of midnights and the rush of the mornings. My mind is an ever spinning ferris wheel and no one notices for they think this is my true self.

I’m spaced out. I’m thinking. I’m lost in my ever swirling tornado of thoughts that rage on and on forever. You ask, what are you thinking about?

And I reply with “nothing” and continue contemplating many, many things.