I’m confused. My brain can’t stop spinning. Even in the darkness of midnights and the rush of the mornings. My mind is an ever spinning ferris wheel and no one notices for they think this is my true self.
I’m spaced out. I’m thinking. I’m lost in my ever swirling tornado of thoughts that rage on and on forever. You ask, what are you thinking about?
And I reply with “nothing” and continue contemplating many, many things.
I’m not satisfied.
I’m not satisfied with who I am.
I hate who I am
I need to change
I try to smile
I try to be happy
I try to create things
I try to breathe life in my dead soul
I can’t breathe
I can’t think
I can’t do anything without crumbling
I can’t survive anymore.
I don’t think I’ll make it
I don’t think they like me
I don’t think I’m genuinely happy
I don’t think I know who I am anymore.
Who am I?
Am I the happy girl?
Am I the sad girl?
Am I the confident one?
Who the fuck am I?
Misplaced Perceptions 