The human brain is colossal. It can do wonders and take you over the world’s seas and wonders. You can create masterpieces with your brain. Also it can destroy you magnificently. Killing you softly and slowly:
You look yourself in the mirror and the beginning syllable of a compliment dangerously rolls on the edge of your lips before getting sucked back in with your brain’s command. You try to make yourself think that you’re beautiful but your brain begs to differ.
“You…beautiful? Why you can always try a bit better? Is that fat on your stomach? Turn around…that is not beautiful. Not enough!”
You start a challenge, a life goal or a study program and you feel exhilarated. You tell yourself you can make it and you will finally accomplish your dreams and that’s when your brain is at it again. Bringing with it the words drawn straight from hell and the flaming fires and scorching embers. And now suddenly you can’t do anything and you feel so tiny that you’re scared a gust of wind will come and crash your soul shattering it into smithereens.
That is self-destruction!
You step out of your home feeling amazing and loving life. Then you see a group of ladies passing by throwing you a nonchalant look and that is when your brain starts.
“They’re laughing at you. Did you not realize that? Good God…get a hint!”
It starts with its perspectives of everything and not leaving for you a chance to stutter a word. It drones on about how everyone’s laughing at you and why you should have covered up those hideous legs of yours.
You indulge in a conversation with your family and there comes the perfect opportunity for you to share something. You want to say something that you know about and it fits perfectly but why would you even dream of opening your mouth without the consent of your brain?
“Don’t” it shouts. “You will stutter and say something stupid. Or you will forget certain words. Just sit quietly. Who the hell asked you to talk?”
And the chance just slips by and you are struck dumb.
That’s social anxiety!
Your favorite song comes on the radio and you barely recognize it for you are too busy thinking about sadness and grief. You’re thinking of all this dejection and despair you wallow in
“I don’t always have to be sad” you say to yourself but another voice rings within the walls of your head.
“Yes you have to be! Why are you worth happiness?” It hisses at you and your favorite song comes to an end.
You step out on the streets feeling the hard ground hit the soles of your shoes. You gaze upwards and the tall buildings loom over you. You don’t stop to appreciate the beauty but instead think of how they are perfect places to jump from. You can’t look at ropes or tall buildings or knifes without your brain going aflutter:
“Oh look at how sharp the knife is. Go ahead and use it on your arms.” it can hardly hide its glee. “Look at that tall building, jump!”
That’s overthinking!
You come home from a long a day and are famished. You hang your coat and step in the kitchen eager for a sandwich. You reach for the bread box and extract two slices. A second later you can feel your brain mentally slapping you across the face.
“You overwhelmingly fat, overweight pig. Are you mad? Stop it! Haven’t you eaten enough all day?” it screams deafeningly at you.
You draw your shaking hands away from the slices of bread, fatigue and hunger clawing at your insides. You turn and exit the kitchen feeling the world’s problems on your thin and bony shoulders.
“You haven’t touched your food hun” your mother’s dreamy voice floats over your head and settling snugly behind your ears and amid the stands of your hair. You look down and your plate looks just as it was 15 minutes ago. Full!
Smiling feebly you shove a spoonful of food in your mouth, not tasting anything. That evidently seems to do it. Your mother is satisfied. Before you or her know it, your plate is empty and you are sprawled in front of the toilet seat coughing up everything you ate along with your soul.
“You did the best thing” your brain whispers to you as your throat and jaws throb with pain from retching and your stomach attempts to keep everything in place.
You are seated in the kitchen. It is 3:46 AM in the morning and there is nothing but plates in front of you. Plates and plates all piled up with traces of various spices and sauces from their previous companions. Your stomach is screaming from the weight of all the food you just ate but your brain is cooing praises to you.
“That’s it? Really? C’mon you can eat one more plate? That can barely suffice you. Go for it!”
Those are eating disorders!
Dedicated to those battling with their mental issues! You're doing good. Keep at it!
Misplaced Perceptions 